Yesterday for dinner I enjoyed a dish of spicy and garlicky Shaoyang-style fish at a restaurant in Changsha, Hunan province. As I paid the bill, I chatted with three of the staff working there--females I would guess to be between 25-40 years old. At first, the discussion focused on light topics such as our hometowns and how to pronounce my English name. But then out of nowhere, one of the women asked me if I knew about Diaoyu--the Chinese name of the islands at the center of a territory dispute between China and Japan. I said that I did, and she then sternly asked me, "Why does the U.S. support Japan?"
Not wanting to open up the topic of what would happen if China took military action (it's not clear, see here and here), I explained that the U.S. does not particularly care who controls the islands. It just wants to see China and Japan peacefully resolve the issue.
She then had some negative words to say about Japanese people. The other women agreed. I told them that if they met some of my Japanese friends they would surely find them to be good people. "No," the one woman said. "Japanese are bad people." Again, the other staff readily agreed with her.
The woman then mentioned that Japan had done bad things to China in the past. I replied that most of today's Japanese people had nothing to do with what happened many decades ago. Appearing to believe that making it more personal would change my mind, she mentioned the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Again, I said it had little to do with Japan today and now Japan and America are on excellent terms. Later, they looked at me in disbelief when I claimed that many Japanese are peaceful. A woman pointed to the TV and asked, "Have you not watched the shows about the war with Japan?"
Often, they tried to establish that I supported China more than Japan. For example, a woman asked if I have more Chinese or Japanese friends. I explained that the numbers are meaningless. I have friends from many places around the world, and I do not choose them based on their nationalities. She then asked me if I could speak Japanese. I cannot. As if she had proven a key point she said, "But you learned Chinese!"
I think my face clearly expressed "So what?"
She then asked, "Why did you choose to learn Chinese?" Not wanting to get into a lengthy explanation, I just said that I found the language fascinating and it is spoken by many people. She again mentioned that I had not bothered to study Japanese. I pointed out that I have also not learned many other languages and it has nothing to do with whether I think certain countries are "better".
As we were wrapping up the discussion, I thought about the bar in Changsha that openly forbids Japanese from entering and the cafe owner who believes that Chinese and Japanese people are friends. So I asked the staff whether Japanese could eat in their restaurant.
They could. In fact, the previous day two Japanese customers had eaten there.
But then one of the women proudly stated, "We didn't behave warmly towards them!". I suspect the staff's attitude reflects what could be found in many other restaurants in Changsha--something in between the bar and cafe. As I tried to imagine the experience of the Japanese customers, she added, "But you see, we're very open with you! You are American." Indeed, they had been very kind and friendly towards me that night and the previous two times I had eaten there.
Although it could be easy to be discouraged by the conversation, I believe it also represented something positive. I do not expect to quickly change people's mind on a topic that can be deeply emotional and has been likely guided by years of "education" with little or no presentation of alternative viewpoints. As with a young waitress in China who asked an important question about censorship in China, there can be great value found in encouraging or allowing people to ask questions. Many of the staff's questions seem to have been intended to make a point and not to better understand my views, yet it was still much better than if they had not asked any questions at all. A person's questions can say as much about their thoughts as their replies to your own questions. And a person may be more likely to consider what you have to say if it is in response to a question they have asked.
I don't know if the conversation will have a lasting impression on any of the restaurant staff. But it certainly made an impression on me and gives me something to consider for possible future conversations. On that note, I would not mind returning to the restaurant for another chat, especially if I could bring one or two Japanese friends. Under the right conditions, I believe the restaurant staff would be interested to ask questions. There is a reasonable chance they would be surprised by some of the answers.
Not wanting to open up the topic of what would happen if China took military action (it's not clear, see here and here), I explained that the U.S. does not particularly care who controls the islands. It just wants to see China and Japan peacefully resolve the issue.
She then had some negative words to say about Japanese people. The other women agreed. I told them that if they met some of my Japanese friends they would surely find them to be good people. "No," the one woman said. "Japanese are bad people." Again, the other staff readily agreed with her.
The woman then mentioned that Japan had done bad things to China in the past. I replied that most of today's Japanese people had nothing to do with what happened many decades ago. Appearing to believe that making it more personal would change my mind, she mentioned the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Again, I said it had little to do with Japan today and now Japan and America are on excellent terms. Later, they looked at me in disbelief when I claimed that many Japanese are peaceful. A woman pointed to the TV and asked, "Have you not watched the shows about the war with Japan?"
Often, they tried to establish that I supported China more than Japan. For example, a woman asked if I have more Chinese or Japanese friends. I explained that the numbers are meaningless. I have friends from many places around the world, and I do not choose them based on their nationalities. She then asked me if I could speak Japanese. I cannot. As if she had proven a key point she said, "But you learned Chinese!"
I think my face clearly expressed "So what?"
She then asked, "Why did you choose to learn Chinese?" Not wanting to get into a lengthy explanation, I just said that I found the language fascinating and it is spoken by many people. She again mentioned that I had not bothered to study Japanese. I pointed out that I have also not learned many other languages and it has nothing to do with whether I think certain countries are "better".
As we were wrapping up the discussion, I thought about the bar in Changsha that openly forbids Japanese from entering and the cafe owner who believes that Chinese and Japanese people are friends. So I asked the staff whether Japanese could eat in their restaurant.
They could. In fact, the previous day two Japanese customers had eaten there.
But then one of the women proudly stated, "We didn't behave warmly towards them!". I suspect the staff's attitude reflects what could be found in many other restaurants in Changsha--something in between the bar and cafe. As I tried to imagine the experience of the Japanese customers, she added, "But you see, we're very open with you! You are American." Indeed, they had been very kind and friendly towards me that night and the previous two times I had eaten there.
Although it could be easy to be discouraged by the conversation, I believe it also represented something positive. I do not expect to quickly change people's mind on a topic that can be deeply emotional and has been likely guided by years of "education" with little or no presentation of alternative viewpoints. As with a young waitress in China who asked an important question about censorship in China, there can be great value found in encouraging or allowing people to ask questions. Many of the staff's questions seem to have been intended to make a point and not to better understand my views, yet it was still much better than if they had not asked any questions at all. A person's questions can say as much about their thoughts as their replies to your own questions. And a person may be more likely to consider what you have to say if it is in response to a question they have asked.
I don't know if the conversation will have a lasting impression on any of the restaurant staff. But it certainly made an impression on me and gives me something to consider for possible future conversations. On that note, I would not mind returning to the restaurant for another chat, especially if I could bring one or two Japanese friends. Under the right conditions, I believe the restaurant staff would be interested to ask questions. There is a reasonable chance they would be surprised by some of the answers.
